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So many ads nowadays are smart. They show you products based on what you’ve been looking for online. Like if you were shopping for anti-fungal cream at Amazon, you’re gonna see some Amazon ads elsewhere with anti-fungal products. That’s not embarrassing or anything… Overstock.com does it, too, and so do a lot of places now. It’s like random website ads intimately know you. Which is why every time I see this Skype ad, my heart skips a beat:

For one…Holy shit! I have a sister? And furthermore, she misses me?! Because the fact of the matter is, which you and I both know, the internet is always right. Always.

If you find my sister, please have her Skype me.

You’ve heard of haunted houses… well last night my Mazda became possessed by demons. It happened in the Arclight parking lot only a few days after having seen the movie Paranormal Activity.

Even after taking the key out, the dashboard continued to go haywire– the speed indicator dialed itself from 0 to 140 and back several times. The good news: a trip to the mechanic exorcised those paranormal bitches right out. Turns out new batteries are like holy water for car demons.