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While the hair department never seems to get much fan-fair for their work, I’ve only recently realized the importance a stylist can play in a movie. In this case, the demise of a film. Sorry, hair people, this is not meant as a personal attack, but rather a cautionary tail. Cases in point:

A Mighty Heart

You didn’t see this movie, and neither did I. It starred Angelina Jolie in a socially relevant, based-on-a-true-story kind of story. And why didn’t we see it? Simply put, her hair. It looked fake. It looked like a wig. It looked like she just hopped off the set of the Bratz live action movie. How can you take a woman seriously when she looks like she got a cheap weave from Oh My Nappy Head. (The Salon on La Brea, not to be confused with the Oh My Nappy Head Talent Agency that was once on the same block.) This is one of those cases where maybe you take a few liberties when it comes to likeness. Let Angelina look gorgeous and let everyone who actually knew the real chick it was based on go “well, it WAS Angelina Jolie” and forgive any differences with reality.

You, Me, and Dupree

A really solid, funny movie that deserved more recognition. Russo Brothers: extremely talented, funny directors. Kate Hudson: Super hot! Hilarious Lance Armstrong cameo. Not to mention, solid performance by my friend Todd Stashwick. But what was up with Owen Wilson’s ‘do! It didn’t really read free-spirit like I imagine it was supposed to. I’m guessing the stylist was going for something akin to my college roommate, Adrian, whose hair always gave the impression that he’d just been flying– straight and wispy, naturally defying gravity. Instead Wilson looked like he’d been sponsored by Aquanet… or king of the roller rink. I can’t help but wonder if this one little detail hindered its success. What I’m saying is, if you haven’t seen it, overlook the hair, and enjoy the heck out of this movie.

© Universal Pictures

Joe Dirt

Of the examples, this is probably the movie least tarnished by hair issues. I would like to contend, though, that while the absurdity of Joe Dirt’s hair is at least built into the script, it is really the biggest tone-changer. Had the hair not been so crazy fake, ugly mullety, the genre would’ve hinged on broad comedy instead of dumb comedy. More of a real story, less of a sketch. The emotional range was certainly there. Not to mention (Spolier Alert!) the dreads he has sewn onto his head in the end. (Can you call it a spoiler alert if the movie is 8 years old?) Anyway, I just thought it was over the top.

Not exactly a topical list of movies, but all in all helped me feel better about my shitty hair. Trust in Aquanet! Peace out.

If you ever wanted to get me a gift, you should know this is the only thing I’ll ever want.

The Carlton Banks Blouse

Seriously, this would look awesome on me wouldn’t it?